Beth - 2005-11-30 10:08:45
Great entry - that's exactly how I feel about my in-laws. I know I should rise about it and be nice, but it's a huge struggle for me.
whoorl - 2005-11-30 10:17:11
GAH! In-laws. Thank God I only see them over Christmas. I just want to kick all of their whiney asses, and I don't know why I can't be a bigger person and just suck it up for 3 days out of the year...
PaintingChef - 2005-11-30 10:44:48
That sounds EXACTLY like my relationship with my in-laws who were also? At my parents house for Thanksgiving. I swear I think they would be happy if my husband were living in their house until the day he died. KILLS ME! And makes me want to say things that I KNOW will get under their skin just because I can... Mom Prom? Ew...that's just sick and wrong.
quinn - 2005-11-30 12:30:23
I think this is my favorite entry of all time. The Mom Prom thing (wow. gross indeed) would have had me going off as well. Usually I can smile and nod my way through a visit with the in-laws, but, MOM PROM?! That's just. too. much.
Julie - 2005-11-30 12:36:04
Molly, you are not a mean person. How can one NOT make fun of Mom Prom? Mom Prom is the sickest, wrongest, kinkiest, most phuked up thing I have ever heard of. And I lived IN NEW ORLEANS. As for your inlaws being boring... You were obviously blessed with vibrant, charismatic parents. 99.9 percent of us were not. My parents used to not be boring, but then they got old, and now they are. It just is. Be nice like your mom said, or you'll feel guilty when they die.
Dana - 2005-11-30 12:57:04
Ok, I am going to have to be the odd woman out here and say that, although Mom Prom and Daddy Daughter Dance sound quite gross, it's not your in-laws who created the events, correct? It's the crazy, messed up town they live in, in Ohio, or wherever the hell they're from. Right? When you grow up with things being a certain way, and, I'll freely admit, I have no clue where Ohio is on the map, but I do know it's not on a coast, you just think they are right. No matter how strange they might seem to outsiders. Like take for instance just how many red states there are. I am from Jersey, and when I watch the elections and see just how many idiots fall for this Bible-humping, God-speaking, women's right squashing, backwards medical science-doing crap, I just sit there in amazement. There's a whole lot of people in the middle of this country that just don't get it. Or, more likely, they just get it in a different way. I am in the opposite situation when it comes to in-laws. My boyfriend does not get along with my dad. And we've had several holiday dinners that have ended in arguements and tears. BUT-what I continue to tell him, and what he continues to ignore is this--1)they don't live with us-you see them, at most, once a month, so shut it, 2)they are older and they did raise me, so just keep your damn mouth closed and show some respect/restrain, and 3)is it really going to break your spirit if you just smile and nod for one stinking night at all of their crazy-speak? Molly-I want to agree with you, I really do. In fact, usually I do. Like that whole "shoes off before entering the apartment thing," but I gotta side with your mom on this one. Mom Prom--YUCK. "I will always love you"--YUCKIER. But, come on, you attacked them in your parents house in a place with brown hills. They just don't get it, and they never will. As I tell my boyfriend, it's perfectly okay to shut the trap every once in a while.
melati - 2005-11-30 12:57:36
Another fantastic post. VC-Andrews'ing! I'm glad to know that I'm not the only person who thinks and talks like that ie making proper nouns and names into verbs and adjectives.
Caroline - 2005-11-30 13:18:59
I just have to admit that I do enjoy a green bean casserole now and again!
Jake - 2005-11-30 13:28:07
Ok, I'm from Indiana, the state right next door to Ohio for the geographically impaired, and I want to go on record and say Mom Prom sounds absolutely absurd to me. I sort of can't believe they didn't have a sense of humor about it either... it's bafflingly gross. I mean, Mom/Son events are ok, nice even. But Mom/Son DANCE TO I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU? Over the line. Reminds me of that Arrested Development where Michael and Maeby sing "Afternoon Delight."
Claudia - 2005-11-30 15:57:45
Okay... I lived in Ohio for many years while growing up and have never heard of Mom Prom, and thank God, because that has to be the creepiest thing I have EVER heard! Gah! Who in the hell thinks of these things?
Sara - 2005-11-30 16:42:12
You are awesome. I LOVE your logic. Love your ranting! I must say that we had the green bean casserole this year, and I loved it. However, I am 9 months pregnant. Go figure...
Julie - 2005-11-30 23:04:19
This all makes me think of something else... There is a new rule in my house after Thanksgiving: NO MENTION OF THE WORDS "REPUBLICAN" OR "DEMOCRAT" or any variation of "JESUS" DURING PARENTAL VISITS. My parents are totally Democrats (not everyone in a "red state" is "red," you know...). My husband and I are equal opportunity political haters. So basically, we offend EVERYONE with our views. Heh. Anyway, I made a comment about this pseudo friend of mine when my parents were visiting for Thanksgiving, something referencing her slackerness, and my husband says, "Jebus. She must be a Democrat." Thereby offending my Very Catholic Democrat parents on SEVERAL levels. SIGH.
Chris - 2005-12-01 09:40:26
Molly - that was so funny. Absolutely freakin' hysterical. You made my morning.
mmf! - 2005-12-01 16:46:25
how did kent react? i completely sympathize...hate the feeling when other people assume *their* way of life is the only normal one... or treat me according to *their* idea of what i should be like...usually this happens when they have a different cultural background from me. (green hills/brown hills). also my appearance constantly gives rise to preconceptions that have little/no basis in fact...but the preconceptions just keep going and going. with parents, this tends to be memories from the past, oh, 20 years that they continue to remember and react to. even if you are very different now. yes, hate. but thanksgiving is over!
jaycei - 2005-12-01 21:37:54
Do pray I acquire your sense of logic. I need it so.
JennB - 2005-12-02 21:42:49
O! I think maybe our mothers-in-law could be related... except mine, who is SO concerned about family and being close and blah de blah blah doesn't TALK to any of her siblings or half-siblings and makes her children be her family since her husband "died" in a single car "accident" after they had a "fight" shortly after my husband and I got married. I don't know what the highlight of our relationship has been: the accusations of brainwashing before her son and I got married, or the accusation that everything (that ever happened?) is my fault, a year after her husband takes himself out and she slams out of my house after I knocked myself out to make Thanksgiving dinner for her and her two pain-in-the-neck, totally immature daughters. It's a mad, mad, madmadmad, mad, MAD world out there. The only thing I'm taking away from my run-ins with her is what NOT to do when I am a mother-in-law some day. And, happily, my husband is not blind to her shit.
Marilyn - 2005-12-22 10:23:30
I got to the end of this post and thought, "EXACTLY!" Boy, do I identify with this one. Except in my case I have the whole religion thing to deal with...the whole Daddy's a preacher and so was Granddad and we expect YOU to be one, too, son! (Snort...not unless they call it the Church of Two Shots of Cuervo with a Heineken back...) Know what prevents me from being as nice as I could be in these situations? The underlying (creepy) feeling that what would make them truly happy is to have their son ditch his 'wife' (well, we consider ourselves married even though we're too lazy to get a piece of paper) and move back home. Coming from an environment where I was raised to be very independent from a young age, I just can't cope with that 'not wanting to cut the apron strings' thing. It creeps me out. As for the brown hills...after 5 years in the islands and 5 or 6 years in Portland, I'm HAPPY to be back in the brown hills. Although I will admit that my boyfriend (it's his first time living in No. Cal.) did comment on them at first...but in a good way. ;)

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