No Meat On A Stick This Weekend [ 2005-09-26, 9:09 p.m. ]

Seven of the following eight things really happened this weekend. Feel free to guess what is what...

1) Spent $1200 on new mattresses, bed linens, etc. only to discover that queen size box spring does not fit through our apartment door

2) Saw suspected neighborhood drug dealer who used to frequent cookware store I managed (buying cream charges by the DOZEN) getting arrested, therefore confirming suspicion that he is probably not just making a whole lot of whipped cream

3) Received phone call informing me that one of my oldest and dearest friends gave birth on Saturday morning to a giant baby who is healthy and perfect and weighs almost 10 lbs, probably on account of her delivering TWO AND A HALF WEEKS past her due date

4) Had dinner at lovely restaurant just tables away from NY State senator - the one who is not Hilary.

5) Flashed underpants and ass at NY State senator who walked in on me about to pee in teeny bathroom of lovely restaurant, which incidentally could use better locks

6) Went to street fair and ate meat on a stick

7) Went to street fair and managed to NOT freak out in swarms of people, participated in pub crawl that straddled the street fair, saw mayoral candidate at street fair, was tempted by but ultimately did NOT eat funnel cake at street fair

8) Began the South Beach Diet in attempt to decrease muffin top

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