If I were a Superhero, this would be my alter-ego:

I�d be able to part the droves of tourists with a single eyebrow-raise, stun asshole hipsters with my razor-sharp irony, and render snotty salespeople tongue-tied and bumbling with my crooked smile. But my whip is the best part. With my whip I�d be able to lash at the ankles of anyone who stood in the way of me and my pursuit of cute shoes, hard-to-get reservations, and desirable real estate. And every time my whip came into contact with some unthinking bastard, it would leave a tiny brand on their skin, which reads, �DON�T BE AN ASSHOLE.� And, with time, I would get closer and closer to my ultimate mission � ridding the New York streets of all the dicks, assholes, bastards and fuckwits who dare to stand in our way.
Kicky boots are a plus.
(And you should check out Maxwell�s site. Maxwell is a Superhero in her own right, and posted the link that birthed my above creation. She�s got kicky boots too.)