If I were a Superhero, this would be my alter-ego:
I’d be able to part the droves of tourists with a single eyebrow-raise, stun asshole hipsters with my razor-sharp irony, and render snotty salespeople tongue-tied and bumbling with my crooked smile. But my whip is the best part. With my whip I’d be able to lash at the ankles of anyone who stood in the way of me and my pursuit of cute shoes, hard-to-get reservations, and desirable real estate. And every time my whip came into contact with some unthinking bastard, it would leave a tiny brand on their skin, which reads, “DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE.” And, with time, I would get closer and closer to my ultimate mission – ridding the New York streets of all the dicks, assholes, bastards and fuckwits who dare to stand in our way.
Kicky boots are a plus.
(And you should check out Maxwell’s site. Maxwell is a Superhero in her own right, and posted the link that birthed my above creation. She’s got kicky boots too.)