Comments:

gorillabuns - 2005-10-04 23:58:05
i life without carbs and alcohol is a life not worth living. i'd rather be fat and drunk than a life skinny and sober.
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Sarcomical - 2005-10-05 02:05:44
oh my dear god i laughed so hard but it hurt because i didn't want to wake up my husband but HOLY CRAP you hit reality DEAD-ON. honestly. how do you maintain the sanity to recall this stuff afterward? it's hilarious. Phase 1 IS evil and also wants to kill your will to live. i'm not sure if this is phase 1 or 2...but hold out for the ricotta cheese with cocoa powder. i swear it's like fluffy pudding. ...do you KNOW how many times i am yelling at my husband and tell him to be nice to me NOW.??? many many many times. i am sure he has no idea what that means anymore.
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Jessie - 2005-10-05 08:44:13
I understand your pain. I too have a crazy side that comes out when I'm hungry and we have nothing I want. And one time I fought with my husband about Cheetos. I crushed them all threw them at him and then sobbed for half an hour about how I never get my way. Yeah, I may be in the running for worst wife ever when I do stuff like that.
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Nora - 2005-10-05 09:39:57
(1) "You're fucking crazy if you think I could make you do anything" made me laugh so hard; and (2) I lasted approximately 3 days on Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet before I broke down and had to have chips and salsa and beans and rice and enchiladas. I really think some people just are not cut out for the low-carb lifestyle and I am one of them (or maybe I'm just weak, but whatever).
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whoorl - 2005-10-05 09:44:24
i did atkins for three days and lost my shit, like send me to a mental institution right NOW kind of shit. i swear that screwed up my body for a full month afterwards. carbs are essential for a stable mindset. holla.
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meghan - 2005-10-05 11:32:51
I gave up on the South Beach diet after three days, because not only was I moody just like you've described, I almost passed out several times. I felt awful, and then I read some anecdotal evidence on the internets where women on hormonal birth control often have problems with low-carb diets. I took that as enough permission to stop the SBD. I think I may have also, at the time, told my boyfriend that he didn't really love me and was just fooling everyone. I am the best girlfriend ever.
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melati - 2005-10-05 11:57:21
My husband doesn't even let it get that far anymore as he has been burned one too many times by the evil monster that comes out when I'm on a diet. "i'm not going to eat dinner tonight." "okay" 5 minutes later "I'M HUNGRY!!!!" "Here, I got a pizza just in case you wanted to eat dinner." gobblegobblegobble. everything's fine.
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PaintingChef - 2005-10-05 13:32:00
Ah yes...that sounds FAR too familiar...I think our South Beach Diet days were shortly lived because of the EXACT same reason.
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Julie - 2005-10-05 20:35:42
OMG. You put a fucking camera in my house didn't you?
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la.dauphine - 2005-10-05 23:35:02
Thank goodness for dogs. They can be a barometer for when you don't realize how crazed you are being. When our little Jack Russell Terrerier leave the room, we know its time for quiet voices.
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Sara - 2005-10-06 15:18:25
Yes, I can absolutely relate... though I'm not on any diet, I am nearly 29 weeks pregnant. This "condition" has resulted in similar tantrums and screeching about the way my husband breathes, blinks, and exists in general. I'm sure my post-pregnancy diet will allow the madness to continue...
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Elizabeth - 2005-10-08 09:30:26
Woman-- don't EVER mess with the glucose levels. Carbs are the fuel of life-- for some of us, anyway-- but I'm going to email you cause I found something that totally helps with the wild swinging glucose . . . because life without bread, scones, bagels, pretzels etc is just not living!
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JennB - 2005-10-10 13:37:37
Longtime lurker, first time post-er. And you. Are. Hilarious. Your blog consistently makes me laugh out loud. Thanks.
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