The strangest thing happened to me. My internet connection went on hiatus, and I didn't turn on the computer for over 24 hours, and I was OKAY. One day without email made me realize how dependent I have become on the computer, and also made me realize that all the times I've felt a vague (or, not so vague) sense of moral superiority because I don't really watch TV are BUNK IN THE WIND because Oh god, I LOVE TV, and have been glued to the computer when I could have been exploiting my DVR machine and watching AT LEAST six hours of television a day, more if I really put my mind to it and maximized my time. You can fast forward through commercials! And if you are changing clothes or on the phone or have to pee, when you see the red light come on, you can RELAX, because your TV is taking care of you, so go ahead and call your friend back and take your time getting a bowl of ice cream...the show will be there, waiting for you! 21st Century, nice to meet you. You had me at TiVo. ('cuz see, that's supposed to sound like "you had me at Hello" from that movie with that girl who used to be cute and endearing and now is grating and omnipresent [totally might not be a real word, sorry] and needs to POWDER HER NOSE.)
Yesterday I was off work, it was raining out, and the pajama pants, they stayed on my body ALL DAY LONG, which is the best way EVER to watch 943 episodes of Alias. Well, 12. TWELVE!! And you know what? I think I want to be a spy! It looks so fun, and I really want a sleek black wardrobe and a close-knit group of co-workers. I love to travel, and it seems like running and staring-with-tears-welling-in-eyes are the biggest job requirements, both of which I can work on. The pay seems good, because DAMN that spy lives in a nice apartment. Plus, hot guys. And! I'd be in such great shape on account of all the flipping and tae bo-ish fights, etc. So yeah, Spy. I'm going to check it out.
I'm also going to start recording about a million new shows. It is much, MUCH more fun than exercising. TV, how could I have forgotten how much I love you? I love your West Wing reruns on Bravo, and I love The Wire, and not just because Domonic West gives me the Vapors. TV, you make me feel like I have friends in WBtown and HBOville, friends that I thought I'd never find again, not after the Hellmouth closed for good (but we can't talk about that now. The pain is still real.)
In all seriousness, I have been jonesing for a break from all things Internet, and I'm suddenly acutely aware of the stack of books and magazines that need reading, and the gazillion shitty tasks around the apartment that I've been stalling on. Perhaps one of these nights I should step away from the keyboard and do some sit-ups or a load of laundry or something. Perhaps.
[I am typing directly into the Diaryland site, which feels CRAZY to me, a devotee of the Word draft system. I suppose it is the CRAZINESS of the night that is also letting me write with NO CENTRAL THEME or even a sense of cohesion. CRAZY. I blame Veronica Mars. Because I watched that show earlier too and I am hooked. HOOKED on the TV, with it's shiny, shiny colors and pretty faces.]
It's one a.m. and I just shovelled a bowl of cold cereal into my belly. Maybe I should just consider that breakfast for tomorrow...I get such a jonesing for a midnight snack that I could probably drop five pounds if I changed my bedtime.
I am on a quest for The Perfect Winter Coat, and it is taking all of my willpower to not skip on over to Neimanmarcus.com, saks.com, burberry.com, etc right this very second. I am starting to think that The Perfect Winter Coat is hosting a kick-ass cocktail party for The Perfect Jeans, The Perfect Black Boots and The Perfect Turtleneck, and they didn't invite me. Or the Perfect Lipstick Shade. Bitches.
I had an exhausting weekend. But I came away from it having learned a valuable lesson: A 29-year-old woman cannot walk down the street eating a corndog without comment. Not even at a streetfair. That corndog was gooooood, though.
Speaking of corndogs...
Please REGISTER TO VOTE and then DO IT. Register now...time is almost up. Me, I'm hoping time is almost up for the current administration, but you? You can vote for whatever or whoever you want. That's the beauty of the thing.
(PS. Voting might be magic, because look how stacked I am in that picture?!?! Imagine what voting could do for you...)
